My journey with Yoga realllllly began in 2004. It was during one of the roughest times of my then life - graduation from University. The unknown world beyond the safe and secure walls of my University. I just wasn't ready. How do I cope with work? What if I didn't know the answers to the questions my boss asked me? What if I would fail? What if the bridge I designed would collapse and people would be hurt because of me. I simply didn't know how to calm my farm if you will.
I needed a haircut before my graduation ceremony. During the process of my grooming my hairdresser was speaking to me like she knew me from somewhere. Whatever. I was too stressed to think. Anyway we got talking. Before I knew it she suggested I visit her class in YMCA that evening. I had nothing to do so why not. So I did. It was weird. People in the class were weird. I heard someone fart during Shashankasana and I just couldn't hold in my laughter. I just didn't want to be there. But I couldn't get out either - I was waaaay back in the class and leaving would be mean walking in front of the class, in front of everyone. I couldn't do it. So I stayed. And I thought to myself - Heck, I should try this coz I can't really leave. So I did. And I tried the poses. Slowly. Awkwardly. Gently. And then Mindfully. A little more relaxed with each Asana. And before I knew it I had tears rolling down my cheeks. But I kept going. Each stretch released more warm tears. I kept pushing my body to keep up with her. It hurt. I hurt. My head hurt. My heart hurt. I just kept crying. I let it flow. I let it all go. I cried away my fears and replaced it with strength and faith.
By the time we were in Shivasana I was breathing. I was at peace. And I knew I could do it.
I haven't looked back since. 12+ years.
I never did keep in touch with my hairdresser/ Yogi. I think of her often. I thank her for not trying to comfort me with words or trying to talk to me about stuff. I thank the fellow students who didn't stare at me or my tears.
I simply thank her for introducing me to me. And now this strength is something I fall back on during Motherhood. To build and center me especially during those tough moments so I can be all that more for my little Buddha.
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